26 July 2006

A pair of smoking jokes

Three kayakers paddled 10 kilometers through heavy seas from one island to another. The first kayaker said "I paddled it in 2 hours." The second kayaker said "I paddled it in one and a half hours because I had a wind at my back." The third kayaker said "I paddled it in 30 minutes." The first and second kayaker asked the third kayaker, "How ever did you do that. That's amazing." The third kayaker replied, "Because I had run out of cigarettes."

Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a plane:
"I think everyone's asleep, let's go"
"This one's empty ... no-one's looking... you go in first"
"It's a bit cramped - let me sit down"
"Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on"
Sniff sniff
"Ah perfume - you think of everything"
"This is great....." (long sigh)
Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.
"This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations... Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!"

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