12 September 2006

Smoking aphorisms and quotes

- The best cigarette is an unlit one.

- Warning! Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
" George Carlin"


- The body needs tobacco but the soul booze.

- I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since.
" Arturo Toscanini"


- "Is it true that you smoke eight to ten cigars a day?"
- "That's true."
- "Is it true that you drink five martinis a day?"
- "That's true."
- "Is it true that you still surround yourself with beautiful young women?"
- "That's true."
- "What does your doctor say about all of this?"
- "My doctor is dead."
" George Burns"


- What a weird thing smoking is and I can't stop it. I feel cosy, have a sense of well-being when I'm smoking, poisoning myself, killing myself slowly. Not so slowly maybe. I have all kinds of pains I don't want to know about and I know that's what they're from. But when I don't smoke I scarcely feel as if I'm living. I don't feel as if I'm living unless I'm killing myself.
" Russell Hoban"


- A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a pool.

- I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
" Mark Twain"


- And a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
" Rudyard Kipling"


- Cigarettes are as American as emphysema and apple pie.
" Mark Russell"


- I believe in cigarettes. I think we're overpopulated.
" Christopher Buckley"


- I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
" Steven Pearl"


- It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
" Mark Twain"


- Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.
" George D. Prentice"


- Thank heaven, I have given up smoking again!...God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine.
" A. P. Herbert"


- They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.
" Mignon McLaughlin"


- To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.
" Mark Twain"

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